Oh my where do I even start? My (to me) 3rd born, Francisco. The inquisitive boy who always has a question and wants to know just how everything works (and why).
Francisco came to us almost two years ago in early October, back then all that he was and could be was clouded by so much anger and fear. He was angry at the world, more anger then you’d ever expect from a nine year old boy. It was a rough winter, very rough. He melted down at the drop of a hat, flipped couches, tossed end tables at me. Screamed over shirts, kicked dryers till they died and tried to put his hand through my foyer window.
I called the police once, on this nine year old boy out of fear for his own safety. That was something as a foster parent I had yet to ever have to do. I imagined when that time came it would be because I had a teenage boy, a young man in my home or even a very angry teen girl. Not this little boy.
Every time he left though, because of his outbursts to get some extra help we always told him he could come back. He had a home, it was his home and he could always return here.
There was a time when DCS felt his behavior wasn’t what it should be to be in a home, that residential would have been a better option for him. I worked in that environment when I was in college, kids who went in usually did not come out ok in the end. I didn’t want that for him, even if it would have been a bit safer of a decision.
DCS gave us the benefit of the doubt and sent him back to us after his last major outburst just before Christmas and while it didn’t instantly become perfect, it was getting better. The child he once was, was slowly starting to disappear and he was smiling! He even let my mother hug him a few times!
We knew then that he could be better and we wanted him to stay, that we would love to be his real home forever or for as long as he would keep us.
When we talked about the adoption and what that would mean it wasn’t smooth sailing, the idea that your real mother isn’t coming back to a now ten year old boy was huge. There was so much turmoil in that and he was just as angry as the day he came to us, but as months passed he became ok with it and when it actually happened he became happy.
It will be one year since his Gotcha Day on August 27th, 2015 and he is an amazing son. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out because he asks more questions then a 3 year old, but other days my heart just melts with how much he wants to know. The angry boy sometimes shows it’s ugly head here and there, but we have our happy boy more then we ever see the other one.
He made me a mother times three, he is important to the dynamics of this family and I am proud to be his mother.
(Thank to Shelby Chari Photography for the Adoption Photos and to Lemongrass Photography for our Family Photos from our Red Thread Session last summer)